Beyond The Norm-Mel

Wedding planning is no reason to stress out

I've determined that the reason that people have big weddings is to prepare women for a life of soccer momhood.

It's a life of holding a job, chasing after kids, keeping everyone's schedule and still managing to get dinner on the table.

I think a big wedding takes planning to the next level.

I'm a fairly laid back person. I don't wear a watch. I'm not much for clock watching or micro-managing, so coming up with wedding plans has been interesting and I think it's nearly driven my mom to the loony bin.

First of all, whether it appears this way or not, I have nearly everything under control at this point. Second, she's never seen a fiancé who has wanted to have an active role in planning a wedding.

My fiancé has been a great help and has had input in just about every aspect of the wedding.

I've always held the philosophy that it's just as much his day as it is mine.

He's also not the kind of person who just wants to show up the day of and that's his input.

He's helped with food and cake planning. He helped pick out the invitations and went to the tux shop to select exactly what style he wanted for the event.

I trust him. Whatever he and the groomsmen wear will be great!

He's also been researching wedding etiquette and nightmare weddings. I think he believes the more he knows the less likely it will happen at our wedding.

One of the better sites,, has a horror story of bridesmaid dresses nicknamed "the Titanic," because they were fashioned after a dress worn in the movie. The day of the wedding, after weeks of pestering the seamstress, who was related to the bride, the dresses were completed and were not at all what the bride wanted.

I would think that the bride would have taken a hint from the movie, no matter how much she liked that style of dress. You'd think that she would think to herself, maybe clothing worn on a sinking ship isn't a good idea.

The website even has pictures of some of the worst wedding and bridesmaid's dresses imaginable.

Some of the stories are actually pretty entertaining, but also prove that some brides stress themselves out in the wedding planning process.

As the days draw nearer, schedules become more intense and are filled with activities and final decisions.

My advise to brides, let go of all the micro managing.

Who cares if all the bridesmaids are wearing the exact same shoes?

I believe relaxing now is a test as to how someone will handle juggling schedules in the future when there's more than just one person fitting into the calendar.


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