Hart Beat

Let it snow somewhere else

Here's a good idea for a new year's resolution. I found it going through a pile of old books. It is the advice offered by the famous American writer Ralph Waldo Emerson -

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Now, doesn't that sound like a wonderful idea?

It did to me as well, at least until I looked out my window and saw that snow fell during the night. I was all for letting yesterday go and focusing on today. But since looking out the window this morning all I can think about is the horrible possibility of falling on my behind, thanks to the innocent looking snow and the eventual icy conditions it leaves in its wake.

Any good thoughts I might have planned to enjoy flew out the proverbial window as I got downright cranky about snow.

So, I've made another resolution. I want to move to Camelot, where bad weather only happens in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping, with all traces gone by morning. I realize it is too late to put such a request on my Christmas wish list.

It is also too late to demand that there be automatic snow days for reporters - OK - for everyone. I don't think anyone should have to travel when it snows. I don't think babies should be born in snowstorms and people shouldn't die on snow days. In fact, tragedies of all sorts should only happen on rainy days as well as all crying.

But since my version of Camelot is not likely to become a reality, I'd like to offer Mother Nature an alternative to her distribution of the slippery, white stuff. How about keeping the majority of the snow in the mountains? Drop just a little on the lawns and in the parks for sledding and snowmen.

Oh, and avoid at all costs dropping any snow on sidewalks, streets and highways. After all, they don't need the extra water. Under no circumstances should any snow ever land on my car. I hate scraping ice off my windows.

Snow may fall all it wants in the mountains, especially near the Bureau of Reclamation reservoirs and water storage areas and the ski resorts. I think it is only fair that the snow land in the those areas, as we'll need the water next summer. Besides, I wouldn't want to deprive anyone of the insane desire to go downhill skiing. I hear it is exhilarating. Sounds damp and cold to me.

Naturally, I will concede that lots of snow should be deposited on all farm lands as protection from frozen roots and for the replenishing of the soil.

However, I don't think I should have to walk in snow. It makes my feet and knees ache.

Besides, did you know most people have their winter heart attacks while shoveling snow? Of course, that may have more to do with their general unhealthy state, but why take a chance?

If the snow would just stay off our paths, that would be one more way to avoid the risk of slipping and falling on our behinds.

If I'm going to slip I'd prefer to slip into my easy chair and a short winter nap to await spring.

I may have to make that my New Year's resolution if my Mother Nature plea doesn't work out.


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