Does this ever happen to you? You're going along minding your own business, learning a new hobby or planning for a big social event, and pow - life just hits you in the face.
Lately it seems that life has been slapping me around a lot. Things I used to be able to do without even thinking about suddenly seem impossible to do. Activities which I used to enjoy have no thrill and my whole purpose in life seems to be in total upheaval.
OK, so I may be exaggerating a little, but I swear only a little.
I just know that with this change, good things are going to happen. Perhaps I'm just a little impatient and, perhaps a little scared. I may even being trying to hold up the process. I don't know for sure. What I do know is that things in my life are getting all stirred up and the dust is being shaken off a lot of dark corners in my life. I'm having to reevaluate a lot of details and we all know that God is in the details.
In fact, it's God that is making the change. My trouble is that I'm actually having a hard time keeping up with Him. I am finding his movement in my life to be at warp speed and that feels a bit strange as I always thought he worked a lot slower. The change I've been experiencing has me off-balance all of the time.
But there it is. I'm studying and trying to understand God's purpose for me. Meanwhile, my daily stuff just keeps whipping on by at the speed of light and sometimes faster.
The sad truth is I'm getting older and not as sure of my footing as I once was. I don't feel like I can keep up at this breakneck pace. I want to slow down, but there is no time to.
Little things easily distract me and before I realize what's happened a whole week has gone by and pow. The summer is gone, school is about to start, and the internal changes just keep on happening.
I've never been good about change. I hate it actually. Like most people, I find a groove and I want to stay there a good, long time. Unfortunately, the rest of the world is all about change and since making friends with God, he has put me on a whirlwind ride of change.
Yeah, my footing is unstable and I'm feeling out of whack, but only because I don't know exactly what He has planned for me. Well, except of course, going to Heaven one of these days.
But I don't actually want to rush that. A great deal of the change I'm going through right now isn't on the outside. This summer already He's had me doing things I would have never guessed I'd do in a million years.
Perhaps that is why this summer has been so painful and exhilarating at the same time. I'm growing for the first time in a long time and I had forgotten how painful growing pains can be.
Painful and exhilarating.