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Story Time

Dear Santa...

Albeit a bit on the sarcastic side, my annual Christmas wish list is always aimed at what I hope Santa will bring others. This year, I've decided to be selfish and ask for "goodies" for myself.

So Santa, if there's any way you can deliver some of the following items, despite such short notice, I would be forever grateful:

• A front page story detailing how Gov. Christine Gregoire and her Democrat-controlled House and Senate have decided to rebate the nearly one and a half billion dollar surplus in the state coffers, that we taxpayers had to dig deep into our pockets to provide for our tax-and-spend legislators.

The last thing I need, Santa, is to read that state Democrats have decided to start up new programs with all this new found money. Number one, it's not new money, it's mine and that of other taxpayers. Secondly, I don't want Democrats telling me a couple of years from now, once the $1.45 billion surplus is gone, that they need even more tax money to keep these new programs operating.

• Just one day, a single 24-hour period, of driving around Sunnyside without seeing some moronic motorist put my life, or their's, at risk of injury, or even death.

• Findings from the retail study/survey currently being conducted by the Buxton Company of Texas, at a cost of $70,000, that show Sunnyside would be an ideal location for Dairy Queen, Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Nordstrom's and Dick's Sporting Goods franchises.

• An explanation (that makes sense) of why Sunnyside is in need of a new $2 million high school sports complex.

We're not filling the seats to capacity now, Santa, and once our Grizzlies are part of the Big 9 Conference, the few wins we're currently getting will be even fewer and further between.

• Gift certificates to the Bruchi's sandwich shop in Sunnyside. Just tried this eatery the other day, Santa, and boy....the food can't be beat and best yet, it's very affordable.

• A legal-begal brain...one that's capable of differentiating why owners of neighborhood markets in Sunnyside that are within sight of schools or parks can't display beer advertisements on the walls of their store, while the other mini-marts around town have the right to do so.

If the idea is to protect our children from being corrupted by these beer banners, Santa, shouldn't the children who live in these "unprotected" neighborhoods have safeguards in place for them?

How do you spell l-a-w-s-u-i-t, Santa?

• A golf swing that emulates the ball striking ability of Jeff Bender. I would ask for Tiger Woods' talent, Santa, but I know you're no miracle worker.

Come to think of it, it'd be a miracle if I ever was half the golfer of Jeff. How about just a lesson or two from our Sunnyside Black Rock Creek pro, Santa?

• A complete transformation of my poker game-ideally, Santa, I'd like Bowlsby's bravado to play any two cards he's got in the hole, Travis's stone cold face that's impossible to get a read off, Jose's knack for playing suited 7-4 and turning them into winners, Ramon's touch for sucking out on the river, and Noe's ability to grind-it-out from the start of a tournament to the end.

• Oh, and one last thing Santa, any chance of getting our public school year extended from 180 days to 210? It's petty of me, I know, and purely an envy thing, but I have a difficult time accepting how often my wife, who works for our public school system, gets to stay at home while I have to trudge off day-after-day to my office.

And who knows, Santa, there might even be a side benefit in granting my wish....maybe an extra 30 days in class each year would elevate students to the level they need to be at to pass the WASL.

.

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