Open Mike

Men, have you ever wonder what happens to all your money?

Now I know for a fact that men of the world can relate to what I am about to write about.

And honey, this is nothing against you because I love you to death.

But men, didn't you think as young boys you would grow up, get a job and have all this money. I did. Well, I also thought I would be a quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, but I guess I was wrong.

When you are first married, you have nothing but good times. Wendy and I had some of the best times of our marriage with little or no money. Those were good times. But then eventually kids-or what I like to refer to as tax deductions-come along. Then with kids comes more bills and with more bills comes more stress.

One eventually gets to a point in their life where they are comfortable, everything is in a financial balance. But then, we start to have our little secret stash of cash.

The secret cash of stash at first starts out as a hiding place in your wallet. But then you quickly have to change things because the family gets out their money radar and hones in on your secret retirement fund.

Men, how many times have you gone to bed with $20 in your wallet and woke up with nothing, not even a note saying I love you or an IOU.

I compare men having money much to what it is like to putting two pairs of socks in the dryer. It is very rare when the two same pair of socks comes out of the dryer at the same time. You always find the other match to your sock a couple of days later.

It is the same with money. I may have not done a good job of teaching our children the concept of money because they seem to really think the stuff just grows on trees.

Take this for instance. I purposely started placing little stashes of cash all around the house and even in one of our banks. My line of thinking was that there is no way the family can get to all of my secret funds. But much to my amazement, my money that I had saved to secretly fund my personal battle against the world was gone in a weekend. Even the money I had stored in the bank was gone. Don't ask me how. It sort of just hit me like a hurricane. There goes my plans for a lush retirement as a pineapple farmer in Hawaii.

I have since tried to store money away for any personal things that I may want. I have this giant water jug I use to store my change. My thinking was if I put the money out in plain view in front of my family, then they may not opt to spend it as quickly or even acknowledge it. But I was wrong. My change jug is regularly pillaged for burrito and coffee runs at the store.

So I am not quite sure what the answer is to being able to hold on to a dollar. It is perhaps one of those timeless questions with no real answers.

I would just like to say this, I love you honey, regardless of whether or not you constantly steal my change. I just hope after reading this you still give me my allowance when I get home tonight.


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