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Cutting to the Core

Absence does make the heart grow fonder

This last Sunday my wife and I went to a cousin's wedding in Walla Walla. My mother came down from Spokane Valley for the wedding, too, and then took my wife Tanya and the Piper cub to her house for a week. My mom wanted some 'grandma time' with Piper. I thought it would be a great idea.

The weather has been hot and we survive on fans at home. I thought it would be nice for Tanya and Piper to spend some time in a cool environment, getting to know mom. I also thought, in a man's kind of way, that it would be nice to be by myself for a week. I'd be able to do what I wanted.

It's been two days now and I want them back. I miss them. It's not because I've ate canned food for the last two days, either. It's more than that.

But eating out of a can for the last two days has made me realize something. I don't let my wife know how much I appreciate the little things she does.

I can cook and sometimes I do, but Tanya is always the one who asks me what I want for lunch when I come home or dinner at the end of the day. Sometimes I work late and I will arrive home at 10 or 10:30 p.m., sometimes even 11 p.m., and Tanya always asks me if I want her to cook something for me. If I say, "yes," she makes me something, if I say, "no maybe later," she will tell me, "OK, but the kitchen closes in five minutes." She's even been known to open the kitchen back up for me. She's sweet that way.

I've learned in the last two days I don't know where anything is in the house. At least not stuff I need. I always ask Tanya when she's home where this or that is and she will calmly shake her head and then find what I'm looking for.

The first night she and Piper were in Spokane Valley I was sleeping on a couch in Pasco. I was sick from a sore throat, something I had been nursing since Saturday, my car was broke down and I was bummed. I really missed her that night. No matter how bad things get, she always has something to say that makes me see it's not as serious as I believed.

The next night in our house was even worse. It was just too quiet. I've gotten quite comfortable having my wife's body next to me when I sleep. Any thought of enjoying the whole bed and being able to stretch out quickly went out the window. It's not comfortable having the whole bed to myself and not being able to share it with my wife.

I even miss Piper's kicks to my side that usually wake me up in the morning. Sometime during the night Tanya always feeds Piper. If they both fall asleep I get woken up by her kicks. When I wake up Piper always has a smile on her face and is really happy I'm awake. I miss that.

I find it amazing how messy I can make the house in such a short period of time. I don't think I've changed my habits in the two days she's been gone so it must be that she just picks up after me. Actually she does, she's told me so.

But now I realize how much extra work I give her by not being considerate enough to pick up after myself. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the baby and me, she doesn't need meaningless, extra work.

So absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Or in my case, it knocks some of the stupid out of me. I'm going to help out more and try to take some of the work load off her. And when they get home, I'm going to have a great night of sleep next to my wife and happily get woken up by a swift kick to the ribs.

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